Writing my story
I’ve been writing my story — quite a journey. (almost done!). Luckily, I found many books to help guide me on this difficult path. A question was asked; ”What is the thorny question to navigate my book?”
Here is my answer:
How do you navigate the world as a creative when you have to push your creative work to the side? How do you re-navigate a wish?
How do you keep-a-going when the opportunities are lost but the creative spirits don’t let up until you give them there due. The creative spirits want to be presented to the world, even for 1 person, or maybe for no one, but they’re not going to give your brain a rest until you take them for a stroll.
So, here you are, with them — the creative spirits — giving it your best shot.
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As most creatives I thrive on process. But I wasn’t sure I had the mind energy to write my story — it was overwhelming. How do I make sense of it all, why would anyone be interested? Would my lessons hold any value for other’s? Would a younger generation even care?
In the beginning of this project I was 62 years old. As of this writing, I’m 67. The first arduous step was reading 50+ years of journals overflowing with my memories. The piles of journals in a variety of sizes sat on the floor in my writing/art room. It’s also the room I work the “day job”, so there isn’t much extra space.
There are many memoir books from creatives — most are those with a name on a marquee. It’s the beginning of their story — before the Fame, that held my interest.
What led me to the biography and memoir section of the library? I wanted to know how they did it. How did they keep a roof over their head and not starve? How did they continue to create with only dribbles of money to work with? How did they keep their spirits uplifted? How did they make the transition from barely surviving, to no longer worrying about paying the rent?
There was a pattern; the creatives that became famous all had someone who unlocked the door, allowing them to walk through the garden of opportunities. Many worked hard to get to that place, some more than other’s, and I’d like to believe that they would have continued to pursue their creative work, even if the person had never appeared in their life.
Creatives, we’re a puzzle to many who do not understand why the need to create is so great. Always feeding the creative hunger growing deep within our belly’s; even if we’re not getting paid; even while working other jobs to keep the roof over our heads and food on the table; even if no one is listening, reading, or witnessing our work.
We gather tools to survive and learn how to manage our time best we can. We struggle at staying focused, for the ideas are constant. In the beginning there is the hope that the creative work will sustain us, and the “day jobs” will be at a minimum.
That never occurred for me, and it wasn’t for lack of trying, though at the cusp of my 7th decade, and still dependent on the “day job” I never give up. Some days are harder than other’s.
We continue to do the creative work because it’s the only way we know how to exist in the world. Not doing something with the beautiful paper found in the public laundry room is too good to waste.
We chase each idea, following it along as we pick it up, play with it, mull it in our brains, let it go, put it on the shelf, come back to it, and work with it some more. Some days it’s a struggle, but the idea beholds our mind — it won’t let go until we’ve exhausted every angle. And then, by some miracle, the puzzle we’re trying to solve resolves itself to a completed idea that we’re proud to present.
Until the next day, when we’re tempted to tweak it some more — just a little.
